I am limited in my ability to cook, but one recipe that I like to think I understand pretty well is one that turns out a happy, healthy relationship. There are a few key ingredients that go into this tasty meal.Fire up that oven and let’s get started.

ATTRACTION.

We can say that looks don’t really matter all we want, but the honest truth is that physical attraction to your partner is an essential ingredient for a happy relationship. This does not mean that the only successful relationships out there will be between two supermodels – everyone is attracted to different things in different ways. The key is finding someone who fits what you want and has an equally strong attraction towards you.

Forget about societal descriptions of beauty – be honest with yourself and find a man or woman who makes your heart skip a beat or two every time you think about them or see them.

AFFECTION.

People show affection towards their partner in all different ways, and some have a hard time showing it at all. Each of us has the responsibility to make our significant other feel wanted and loved. Whether it be simple hand holding, a random hug here and there, or much larger gestures – being affectionate is really one of the key things that distinguishes a relationship from a friendship, and it’s important not to let it fade.

APPRECIATION.

To round out the “3 A’s” is appreciation. Regardless of how amazing, romantic, or thoughtful someone is – if too much time goes by where they don’t feel like their efforts are appreciated, they are bound to slow down, stop, and maybe even leave.

Every healthy relationship I am aware of consists of two people who not only appreciate what their significant other does, but also who their significant other is.

TRUST.

Add an extra cup or two of trust into this recipe – because without it, the other ingredients have an exponentially harder time sticking together. Things easily fall apart when you are concerned about what he or she is doing when you’re not together, or if they’re being honest to you or not, when you are.

Trust in a relationship is like an eraser on a pencil – it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.

HONESTY.

Honesty and trust tend to mix well together in this recipe, and adding extra of both is recommended. Without honesty, you won’t find trust. Being open and straightforward with your significant other is the backbone of keeping confidence and security between you in your relationship.

Even one lie is enough to make someone question their trust in you and many other things that you say. If they can’t trust you to be honest about the small things, how can they trust you to be honest about the bigger things?

CONSISTENCY.

Consistency is not just a descriptive word about the texture of your final product here – it’s also an important part of a healthy relationship. Being inconsistent makes it difficult for someone to know what they’re really getting and who they’re really dating. If you don’t know whether or not you’re going to have a good or bad day with him/her, it puts extra, unnecessary stress on your relationship

 

EFFORT.

Add two servings of effort to this recipe – one from each side of the relationship. A great relationship is not about give and take, it’s about give and give. You’ll know you’ve found the right partner when they put in just as much effort into the relationship as you do. It’s not a sometimes thing, it’s an all the time thing.

Relationships aren’t a part time gig, you’re either in – or you’re out. If you don’t add enough effort to this recipe, things will become stale and bland over time. Who likes that? Nobody, that’s who.

Suggestion: Mix effort with consistently for best results.

RESPECT.

Respect is the bowl that you mix all of these ingredients together in. Without the bowl, everything else just falls all over the floor and becomes one big mess.

SPONTANEITY.

Spontaneity adds spice to the recipe – use as much as you desire.

LOVE.

What is this recipe without love? We can have many of these ingredients with someone we really like or get along with famously, but if we want something that has real potential to last in the long term – there needs to be real, genuine love between partners.

When this ingredient is present, all of the others will fall into place.

 

No more wondering what’s for dinner – this is a recipe that both partners in a relationship can agree on, love the taste of, and have it every day. It’s healthy and never gets old – just make sure you don’t spill out the important ingredients.

by James Michael Sama